On Being A Thinking Catholic

It bothers me to even think this, but how do you quit being Catholic? 

I've been proud to be one.  Knowing that you chant the prayers and celebrate the Sacrament of the Eucharist as they were done decades, even centuries ago gave me comfort.  Saying the Rosary always makes me calm.  I carry one during childbirth, difficult periods in my life and even during plane rides.  I even bought a CD recording so I could upload it to my iPod.  In the Visayas, everything stops at noon and 6pm for the Angelus.  I remember the post-war stories of my father growing up in a small town.  He and his brothers had to run home barefoot (which was faster) when the Angelus bells would sound.  It comforts me that we had even this prayers in common. 

I've been devout since junior year in high school when it was a conscious choice.  Although baptized and essentially educated Catholic, I was largely agnostic until Father Caloy Rodriguez, SVD spoke with me at boarding school in Tagaytay.  I may write about the meeting during some other post, but the experience taught me to trust my heart.  It taught me that Catholicism was not all blind obedience but a religion with intelligence.  Later in my life there were times I had trouble reconciling modern sensibility with archaic dogma but it always worked out in the end.  I even bought the book above for additional guidance.

The Religious of the Good Shepherd opened my eyes and taught me social responsibility.  I was already reading Ibon pulications before I went to Diliman.  I learned about the plight of political detainees and the urban poor.  A two-week immersion program with the rural poor further developed my empathy.  It was the ultimate merging of Faith, intellect and emotion. 

I attended Friday night's talk with an open mind, wishing to see the Church' view on the controversial Reproductive Health Bill.  I had hoped that a younger version of a Father Caloy was there again with his intellect, common sense and zeal.  I really wanted it to happen.  Instead, there was a convoluted version of the facts from a lay minister and his wife.  Instead of an academic discussion, there was hot-air rhetoric.  The current version of the Bill was not even available. 

The Catholic Church hierarchy has a structure equal, or even superior to the military.  There is chain of command.  They protect their ranks.  There's no doubt in my mind that the CBCP knows that their "soldiers" engage in mis-information dissemination.  The fact that I live in Pasay and not in an exclusive subdivision is not even worth considering.  I refuse to believe that the Church treats me as an idiot in this part of town.  I can't believe that theses speakers from Makati would speak to their neighbors in some other "manner befitting their status."  I do know that it's happening exactly this way in parishes all over the Philippines.

If that's the case, then I have more cause to champion the Reproductive Health Bill.  At least it will provide me information and options.  It acknowledges my value as a thinking Filipina without bias. 

I have listened to their side and they maltreated my mind and my Faith in one brutal blow.  It's done.  Over.

I recorded the "talk" on my phone if anybody cares to hear.  But the recording is so bad because I did not count on the acoustics of the structure.  If I'm not mistaken, there are three echoes marring the sound.  If anybody knows how I can clean it up, please let me know.

On The Reproductive Health Bill

I maintain a hard-line stance supporting the passage of the Reproductive Health Bill because of two incidents that have happened in my life.

At the age of 19, I had been bleeding for about a month and went to a private obstetrician’s office.  I consulted about my condition as I concluded the worst.  As the MD was taking my history, she learned that I was still single.  I cannot describe the disbelief on her face as she learned of this fact.  She then proceeded to ask me in a voice loud enough to be heard in the waiting room:

-And you’re still single?

Yes Doctor.

-And you’re here because you’ve been bleeding for a month?

Yes, Doctor.

-And you’ve been having sexual relations?

Yes, Doctor.  (Repeat 5 times).

On the sixth round of the conversation, I mumbled something and stepped out of her office into a waiting room full of pregnant women staring.  It was only years later that I realized that my health may have been in serious peril.  Back then it was just an inconvenience.  Those zealots made it impossible for me to gather up the courage to go to another doctor. 

The second incident was when my daughter got pregnant at the age of 15.  It was a scandal in our openly religious city.  She was enrolled in a Catholic school and was, not surprisingly, promptly expelled.  I had wanted her to remain in school but it was impossible to find one willing to accept her in this condition.  Finally, a small Baptist school near the outskirts of the city took her in.  They had exemplified what being Christian truly was.  To this day, I am grateful for their unconditional acceptance.

Then the nuns from her old school made a strange request.  They asked that my daughter’s attendance from their school be stricken from the transcript!  I was supposed to ask the Baptists to LIE for them?

In Manila where these things are more commonly accepted, I know of Catholic schools that retain these single, pregnant girls.  However, they are often required to stay away from the general population.  Mostly these girls are home-schooled, taking their examinations in campus at night or supervised at home.  They're rarely acknowledged in normal conversation and usually spoken of in whispers or as the subject of gossip.

Catholic guilt makes it taboo to even talk about the subject of sexual relations.  It’s a costly mistake I made, not speaking to health-care professionals or discussing these with my daughter or parents.   Now I know that when intelligently and openly discussed, reproductive health care awareness will benefit everyone.  Nobody can second-guess me, what if the atmosphere is finally right and I can openly teach abstinence to my children?  It's the safest alternative, no doubt.  There is a massive outcry on the Bill that most have yet to see.  In other countries, this Bill is deemed anti-life.  Worse yet, some have claimed that a "Two-Child policy" will be imposed, not unlike China's "one-child" policy.  The ignorant are the most vocal about this, yet nowhere in the Bill is abortion or population control is mentioned.  In fact the title of the Bill includes the words "Population Development."

The Church is obstinate regarding extramarital relations, which I totally accept as a Catholic Filipina.  However, to deny the health care and information to all is to deny them their right to choose.  This interference with legislation reeks of a modern-day Inquisition.  Will the Church actually involve our Muslim sisters? How about those without access or unable to obtain quality service?  The proposed Reproductive Health Care Bill is national in scope, providing for each Filipino regardless of age, religious affiliation or economic status.

A post on pinoyexchange says it best:  Instead of meddling in political affairs, the Church should focus on attending to the Church should focus on attending to the spiritual and corporal needs of its flocks. In my opinion, if the Philippine Catholic Church is really intent on overstepping the boundaries, it should focus instead on preaching “Thou shalt not kill” of the extrajudicial killings and “Thou shalt not steal” from the national coffers.  

Rather than following blindly, please make an informed choice by reading the Inquirer article  Reproductive Health Bill: Facts, fallacies penned by the author of House Bill 00017, Rep. Edcel Lagman. The full text of this bill is still unavailable in the Philippine Congress website, but to view its history, please click here.  Read the significance of "Humanae Vitae" on these events.  Read articles for and against the controversial bill.  Finally, read this eye-opening opinion which cites a problem far larger than the issues at hand.

This Online Petition supports the immediate passage of this Bill into law.  Please sign up after reviewing all available opinions/facts.

One of the articles claims that Saint Thomas Aquinas had said "...anyone upon whom the ecclesiastical authority in ignorance of true fact imposes a demand that offends against his clear conscience, should perish in excommunication rather than violate his conscience."

Go ahead, excommunicate me.

On The Sexy Filipina

My eldest daughter says that after you've read a year's worth of Cosmopolitan, it begins another cycle. Only this time it's a variation on the same themes. She knows these things, we get all the magazines, I trust her. But does it mean that everything we need to know about being fun, fearless and sexy can fit into a mere 12 issues!?

I beg to differ. There are sexy Filipinas everywhere, undefined by convention. Here are my Top Ten picks, none of the Cosmo mold:

• The sexy Filipina is our previous "labandera" who survived three husbands and has no teeth, even false ones.


• The sexy Filipina is our current "labandera" who moved to the next barangay and got herself a new husband(!), or was it the other way around? (I should do laundry).


• The sexy Filipina is the ubiquitous "Lola" who dresses up like Madonna did in the 80's. Like a virgin!
  


• The sexy Filipina is the overly made-up matron reeking of perfume, dancing the night away with a much younger man.


• The sexy Filipina is my 40-year old sister, who insists on wearing micro-mini skirts but doesn't know how to sit.


• The sexy Filipina is a young girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and absolutely kills me with her public displays of affection.


• The sexy Filipina is the subservient Shoemart salesgirl with her ill-fitting mini-dress, yellow stockings and open-toed shoes. How sexy is the uniform!


• The sexy Filipina is our "isaw suki", who weighs 300 lbs. and who makes her husband scream in ecstasy. (Their neighbors are gossips).


• The sexy Filipina is my friend Grace, who told me to spit into a man's first drink in the morning, to bury his used underwear in the the foundations of our house, how to look at men and much, much more. Local voodoo to keep men from straying. I didn't listen!


• The sexy Filipina is ME, who at age 40 dared to wear my first bikini;)

I dare my daughters to outdo this list and be creative. It will help them define the word "sexy." And maybe they won't need to read so much to find answers. As to the word "Filipina," it's best taught by example.

BLOGGER'S NOTE. I'm rising to the challenge: "Write at least one entry with the word “Filipina” somewhere in the title of your entry and discuss anything about the Filipina — whether it is about you or some outstanding Filipina Woman you know. Use words like “Filipina, sexy Filipina, Filipina woman, sexy Filipina woman, Filipina Mom or Smart and Sexy Filipina” in our blog entries." For more on the The Filipina Images, click on ANY of the words "FILIPINA" in this post.

On My Nick

My kids ask me what's with the nick. Filipina42? It answers all the ASL questions. I'm a 42 year old Filipina. Problema ba yun? They say i should add [underscore] then yung address ko hahah! Dapat yata phone number.

My Mom told me never to reveal my age. She's old-school Assumptionista and fears na I'm too honest. They'll figure out daw her age when I give them mine.

I read somewhere na contrary to taking away years from your age, kelangan mo pa daw dagdagan para mamangha sila. Parang totoo.

How old did you say you were?
Answer: Your real age + 5 or more years
What!? You look waay younger!

I like my age. I wear it like a badge. Each wrinkle (meron ba?) reminds me of every summer spent being in the sun. My aching back is a testament of 22 years of motherhood and housework. I have a few gray hairs and they each have their own story to tell. Awa ng Diyos, less than 10 naman yun!

As to being Filipino, why hide it? The world is changing, I believe great things lie in store for us. I'm proud to contribute to the generation that will actually make things happen.

In the meantime, I have work to do;)