On Finally Having Pics

I was feeling mighty fine today when I got up. So fine, in fact, that I decided to take my picture. This has never happened before. We have all sorts of gadgets (yes, including those) at home that there was no excuse for me not to have a portrait taken.  I imagine I could pretty much stick my face under the scanner cover and press a button if I was desperate.

They'all claim to be pretty good photographers but I always hid my face, ruining some very important photos. Today however, I will let "giddy" take over and push "shy" off for a moment to get the job done.

It was pretty awkward at first with the digicam. You can't set it up. It felt stupid. I had let a whole virtual film roll go. Two hours later, my bemused daughter told me to use her Mac. Perfect! I could see myself and choose from the effects of the Photo Booth application. Here are the results of my first foray into egocentricity.

On Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I've always had a healthy sense of humor.  No doubt, it kept my sanity intact while the kids were growing up and relationships ran through their course.  My only regret is that I can't laugh out loud (lol), LITERALLY.  We have a genetic predisposition to lock-jaw.  I have horror stories to prove it.  Now that's soooo not funny!

I've always envied those who bwahahahh at slapstick and heeheehee when tickled.  I just crinkle my nose when I find something funny.  If it's really hilarious, I turn up my lips a little.  (I had a repressed childhood).  To cover up potentially embarrassing situations, I've learned to give the punch line with a straight face.  I prefer sarcasm or irony to inject humor.  I don't do it to show off wit, I just can't open my mouth wide enough to laugh at corny, over-the top jokes...which I happen to love!

The events of the past few weeks however, has made me feel positively light-headed and giddy. A huge weight has been taken off my shoulders and I want to jump up and down with joy.  I'm on the verge of a laughfest but am afraid of the consequences, to my mouth in particular.

To sober up and keep my emotions reined in, I ask myself this question:  Is the laughter a result of a positive or negative experience?  Are these feelings the effect of a purging or a symptom of a deeper emotional affliction?  I suspect the worst because I've never this happy in my life, which is weird.  There have been way many more moments of profound gratitude.

Let this post's title speak for itself.

On Losing My Sight

I lost my glasses.  AGAIN! Although they were a horrendous pair bought on sale, they did their job.

I got a new prescription filled out after a check-up with my opthalmologist.  It turns out my astigmatism is worse so we had to adjust accordingly.  I went to my "suki" optician at Cartimar and picked out fashionably dorky shades (on sale, of course).  Instead of getting single vision reading glasses, I opted to get the double vision or "doble-vista."  What possessed me to order that, I don't know.

I lost my old glasses the day after I got my new pair.  So now, I'm blind again unless I read from the lower fifth of my lens.  Which means:  I have to stretch my neck up to play the piano or use the computer.  The pain!

On Finding Answers Online

I've always believed that what passes for fact online may not necessarily be the truth. As it stands right now, the lines between truth and lies are blurred anyway...so who gives a shit?

Like yogini in quest of the meaning of life or a gambler desperately seeking the winning lotto combination, I searched deep within the bowels of the web to find the elusive answer to the question: Should I finally give up on the low-life who claimed that I was his one true love?

The answer: a resounding YES!

The proof?

When Should You Dump Your Lying Man?

On My Firstborn

Last year on her birthday, I put out a short post about MY GIRL. I had never wished for one to come into my life as badly as I did her.

A lot of things have changed in a year though my feelings for her have not. I wish she would come home to me.

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE!

The sun...

The sand...

Fresh air...

Buy one, take one at the supermarket...

Sachet inserts in magazines...

And coming soon:  the Philippines' first free magazine!

It's not an insert or student publication, not a catalogue, not pieces of advertorials, no hard sell.  Just good reading brought to you by people who think it's time has come.

On Idle Land

I had planned to send my son to Singapore next year for his graduate training.  (We have to pay for this privilege).  To come up with the much needed cash, I intended to put idle land and neglected trees to work.  This is where my story begins...

If there's anything that screams "WASTE" at me, it's idle land, especially farm land.

There's no easier way to have ready cash or have food on your table than by agriculture. Although the Philippine government, past and present, has effectively put an end to farming as a means of sustainable living (think: CARP, the fertilizer scam and the current rice shortage), those who do farming at leisure or own a small piece of rural land can have a little bit of extra cash.  I'm getting my rice for free for the next year because I thought of planting my own. I intend to sell a portion of the harvest so my expenses will be returned.  As to the rest?  I plan to give it away.  Because I can.  And because people need my measly contribution.

There are mango trees untended on a lot of farms because urbanites and those who left their country for greener pastures just don't care.  I had planned to take on the care of a few idle mango trees for a small profit next year but the green monster has stepped in.  Uhmm wait... the green monster isn't envy.  It's CASH... as in United States Dollars.

Maybe I have to reconsider my concept of family and the care of idle land seriously before I continue with my plan.