Of Ex-Husbands and Ex-Boyfriends (A Dedication)

In a previous post, I mentioned being really lucky to find love twice in my life. I did forget to mention though that both relationships lasted more than a decade each. So for my loyal detractors who think I don't have what it takes, here's to wishing you at least a SINGLE honest, long-term commitment in your miserable existence:p

To those who don't think you can be friends with your ""ex-"es, I'm living proof that it can happen. While I'm not IN LOVE with them anymore, I happen to love all my ex-boyfriends! I'd like to think that the affection is mutual because I can walk up to any of them wherever and get a big hug. No break-up is painless, but they can be amicable. There were never any scenes, only the minimum of tears and always a sweet goodbye kiss. NOTE TO DREW BARRYMORE: It's nicer than the first kiss.

From the neighborhood cutie in Kapitolyo who made me blush at 12, the Notre Dame grad who proposed marriage when I was 14 to the recent "shoulder to cry on" who made me feel great, I'm thankful to them and won't hesitate to show it.

I won't go into detail about one-night stands, but they're basically the same. Just goes to show that I mostly won't jump into bed on a whim or on an alcoholic haze. I'm big on solid friendships. If there's no physical connection, no harm done. Just go back to being friends. Why lose a buddy over bad sex? It makes no sense.

Finally, for those who think this was too much information...I'm gonna shut up now.

I spoke with ex-hubby on Christmas Eve and he was happy to hear from me. I cried my heart out when I told him I missed my father especially. He sympathized that the (2nd) love of my life didn't turn out to be what I expected.
We admitted being sorry about how things turned out. I'm glad that he's still here for me and we're still friends.
On the other hand, I'm livid with the b*tch who broke us up...NOT!

On Turning 43

"1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an Annus Horribilis."

-Queen Elizabeth II, in a speech to the Guildhall on 24 November 1992, marking the 40th anniversary of her Accession.

Prominent social personality Mayenne Carmona wrote in her Savoir Faire column last weekend that this year was her own annus horribilis. From her account, it was a nightmare of epic proportion. I hate using cliches, but this really was something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. This past week for me ranked a mere 4 out of 10 but I won't judge the entire year from recent events. It's just one out of 52.

I knew it was going to be a tough year. With my youngest child entering college adding to the previous three, it was obvious that I needed something short of a miracle. But things always have a way of working out and they did. They're all still in their private schools, thank you:) With the two oldest graduating next year, I can actually contemplate life in my farm.

I did a lot of new things this past year. We finally got a live-in maid. After literally doing everything ourselves all these years, we happily handed over the reins to our very own professional Manang. God bless her! I started to blog, joined more forums and began writing comments and letters to mainstream journalists. This was something I always wanted to do and online comment forms plus email make it easy. As I have always proudly worn my heritage and my age, I used the nick "filipina42." Unwittingly, I have immortalized myself and will forever remain this age. Well, in the virtual world at least.

In line with my "frugality," I made only one major purchase this year. It was a MacBook that my daughter badly needed for her senior thesis. I held out as long as I could but there was no going around it. On the other hand, she told me it was a Christmas/birthday/graduation gift. I might have saved a few thousand on the long run.

The most shocking thing this year was on something I saw on TV a few weeks ago. I was watching "How Do I Look?" on the Lifestyle Network and saw a makeover on a woman whose wardrobe was EXACTLY LIKE MINE!! Arrrgh, I didn't know I was a fashion victim. It started a few years ago when my father suddenly passed on and I had nothing black (or white) to wear. As I usually do, I overcompensated and wore mostly black (or white) for a year. I just never got around to updating my wardrobe.

I do have the occasional brown or gray shirt. And I got a navy dress for my youngest daughter's high school graduation. It was a steal on eBay for less than 100 bucks. I was telling my Mom that it was probably time for me to get a bespoke silk suit. That would be a splurge! However, since I would wear it to four graduations in four years, it would pay for itself in two.

In all, my humor , health and wit are mostly intact. My finances are a little worse for the wear but it's going to turn around soon. Everyone's still a little kooky while Gabriel is turning into a brat. Everything is as it should be. We should all be so blessed!

Source

On Malatapay

We drove to Zamboangita which is south of Dumaguete. Wednesday is market day. It's the one day of the week that hawkers, farmers and anyone who has anything to sell converge on the street leading to the resort of Malatapay. The street was packed with stalls with pirated DVDs, local vegetables, meat and everything else. The was a huge corral with livestock for sale. Live carabaos and cows included!

We weren't in the market for any of those though. Our destination was at the end of the busy thoroughfare, at the beach. There, makeshift stalls cooked fresh catch. Lechon cebu is available at PhP250/kilo. The skin is crispy, the meat tasty and is brought to your table with a dipping sauce of local vinegar and soy sauce. Yummy!

We were lucky to get the last of the lechon. The remaining 100 grams was thrown in, not counting the skin we had already started munching on. Normally, when we're unsure where to eat, we go to the place with the most people. We figure that most people can't be wrong:) But all the places were packed, and it was way past lunch! We took the first available table under a tree.

I was brought to several coolers with HUGE fish to choose from. There was tanigue available, but if you don't cook it right, it tends to get tough. Feeling adventurous, I decided on barracuda which was highly recommended. Two kilos was enough for 4 people, they said. It cost 250 per kilo, including ingredients and cooking fees.

We tried the famous "sutikil", or cooked three ways. It includes "sugba" which means grilled, "tinola" which here is fish boiled with salt, ginger, tomatoes and siling haba. Finally the "kilawin" which is fresh cubed fillet of fish marinated in calamansi juice, salt, ginger, onions and chili peppers. Visayans know their kinilaw like nobody's business!

Fresh, yummy food... a shady place to sit... the ocean breeze... being with people you love... LIFE IS GOOD!!

On Why I Am Thankful

In light of the tragedy at the Ayala Center yesterday, I wanted to reconsider today's post. It was an email I posted at the ThankYou.ph website but thought it would be inappropriate. Upon careful consideration, I decided to continue. There is no less reason for us to be thankful today. We need to be so now, more than ever.

I AM THANKFUL



For the WIFE

who says it's hotdogs tonight,

because she is home with me,

and not out with someone else.



For the HUSBAND

who is on the sofa

being a couch potato,

because he is home with me

and not out at the bars.



For the TEENAGER

who is complaining about doing dishes

because it means she is at home,

not on the streets.



For the TAXES I PAY

because it means

I am employed.



For the MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY

because it means

I have been surrounded by friends.



For the CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG

because it means

I have enough to eat.



For MY SHADOW that watches me work

because it means

I am out in the sunshine.



For A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,

WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,

AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

because it means

I have a home.



For all the COMPLAINING

I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

because it means

we have freedom of speech.



For the PARKING SPOT I FIND

AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT

because it means

I am capable of walking

and have been blessed with transportation.



For my HUGE HEATING BILL

because it means

I am warm.



For the LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH

WHO SINGS OFF KEY

because it means

I can hear.



For the PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING

because it means

I have clothes to wear.



For WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES

AT THE END OF THE DAY

because it means

I have been capable of working hard.



For the ALARM THAT GOES OFF

IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

because it means

I AM ALIVE.



And finally, for TOO MUCH E-MAIL

because it means

I have friends who are thinking of me.



- email from Zoyx

On Gratitude

Blogger's Note. I was deciding on what to blog on today. The choices were: (1) Philippines First Annual Thank You Day or (2) International Poverty Eradication Day. Why did I even have to think, it was so obvious!? Another cup of coffee please...

There's a whole chapter dedicated to gratitude in The Science of Getting Rich. It happens to be the longest one. The Secret acknowledges that "...the power of gratitude stands above everything else. If you only do one thing (italics mine) with the knowledge of the Secret, use gratitude until it becomes your way of life.

Yesterday's Philippine Star ran promotional material on the Philippines' first annual "Thank You" day. Among others, it cites the medical benefits of gratitude. According to the article:

Gratitude can be beneficial to your health. According to published research findings by Dr. Robert Emmons (University of California in Davis) and Dr. Michael McCullough (University of Miami), gratitude is a virtue conducive to good health, w3ell-being, happiness, and psychological stability.

The research revealed that practicing gratitude, whether verbally or through action, resulted in heightened liveliness, optimism and enthusiasm. Furthermore, the research subjects were far less prone to depression and tension.

...An immune system supported by a sunny disposition is one more resistant to diseases and disorders that plague the body and the spirit.

Our Awesome Planet, a blog whose feed I subscribe to, made its own awesome contribution:

In Celebration of the first ever National Thank You in the Philippines on Oct. 20, I'm launching an art project campaign on saying the most creative "Thank You." I'm launching ThankYou.PH to say creative thanks to all the people that influenced and help me in my blog. This will be an ongoing campaign that would last forever (naks :)

ThankYou.PH is an ongoing community art project where people send their Thank You to show a simple appreciation to friends, family and love ones in a creative way. This was inspired by the National Thank You Day. Just email your creative Thank You to thankyouday.post@blogger.com.

It's all good!

Finally, I'd like to show you something I got in my inbox at pinoyexchange.com. Participate in any way you can. Encourage others to do the same. And don't forget to say thank you:)

Thank you!