Of Ex-Husbands and Ex-Boyfriends (A Dedication)

In a previous post, I mentioned being really lucky to find love twice in my life. I did forget to mention though that both relationships lasted more than a decade each. So for my loyal detractors who think I don't have what it takes, here's to wishing you at least a SINGLE honest, long-term commitment in your miserable existence:p

To those who don't think you can be friends with your ""ex-"es, I'm living proof that it can happen. While I'm not IN LOVE with them anymore, I happen to love all my ex-boyfriends! I'd like to think that the affection is mutual because I can walk up to any of them wherever and get a big hug. No break-up is painless, but they can be amicable. There were never any scenes, only the minimum of tears and always a sweet goodbye kiss. NOTE TO DREW BARRYMORE: It's nicer than the first kiss.

From the neighborhood cutie in Kapitolyo who made me blush at 12, the Notre Dame grad who proposed marriage when I was 14 to the recent "shoulder to cry on" who made me feel great, I'm thankful to them and won't hesitate to show it.

I won't go into detail about one-night stands, but they're basically the same. Just goes to show that I mostly won't jump into bed on a whim or on an alcoholic haze. I'm big on solid friendships. If there's no physical connection, no harm done. Just go back to being friends. Why lose a buddy over bad sex? It makes no sense.

Finally, for those who think this was too much information...I'm gonna shut up now.

I spoke with ex-hubby on Christmas Eve and he was happy to hear from me. I cried my heart out when I told him I missed my father especially. He sympathized that the (2nd) love of my life didn't turn out to be what I expected.
We admitted being sorry about how things turned out. I'm glad that he's still here for me and we're still friends.
On the other hand, I'm livid with the b*tch who broke us up...NOT!

On "Lupang Hinirang" (Re-Mastered)

During the Pacquiao-Barrera rematch, I wrote a lengthy blog post about out National Anthem. In it, I critiqued the various performances before boxing matches.  Until then, it was a hit or miss thing that did nothing to boost national pride.

Tomorrow morning, Karylle [Tatlonghari] is given the honor.  Despite a famous ex-boyfriend and a diva for a mother, she's got her head on straight.  She has better odds than Pacquiao of giving a great performance.

Speaking of odds, what's gotten into our "Pambansang Kamao?"  It's hard to believe what most say that he's just in for the purse.  Additionally, this bout is turning out to be a gambler's wet dream. So they're all in it for the money. What the ****!?  Where's Pac-Man's patriotism and "para sa bayan" mantra? Honestly, I just wish he comes out of this with his pride intact.

For those like Pacquiao who need a shot in the arm, there's a new film version of "Lupang Hinirang." It is meant to touch the hearts and minds of Filipinos everywhere.  This 2:28-minute video was created purposely "for reflection.  It is not meant to replace the official anthem normally played as a march."

Please watch it and be reminded.

Printed WITHOUT PERMISSION(!) from proudlyfilipina.com

On Being "Accounts Payable"

During a recent launch, a friend remarked that I was "accounts payable."  I laughed in her face. Oh sure, who doesn't need the moolah?  But really, I wanted to know what it meant.  NOW!

Did it mean I was owed money?  Money's easy:  You earn it. You spend it. No biggie. What's with the labels anyway? Of course people owe me money and I, in return, owe others. So goes the circle of friendship, family, forfeiture and finance.

But really, what mattered? It got me to thinking about my own list of "Accounts Receivable." For my services rendered, what could I reasonably demand in return? How high a premium could I place on my skills and emotion?  After much soul-searching, I think I have it:

MY CHILDREN.  In 2006, Al Neuharth, founder of USA Today, wrote a Mother's Day column. In it he wrote, consulting  job analysts at Salary.com, that a stay-at-home Mom's salary would be $143,121 annually.  (Multiply for numbers of years on duty and adjust numbers for inflation!)

I'd love to be able to say that I'll take the cash, thank you:)  In the real world though, you just keep your fingers crossed and hope that these kids make the same effort with THEIR kids someday.

What I do expect from them really, is for them to be independent. They should apply critical thinking in all aspects of their lives, act responsibly and be of value to society and country.

MY (FUTURE) SIGNIFICANT OTHER.  If this person does exist, I demand total honesty.  You shouldn't tell me it's okay when it isn't, goddamit!  I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. There may be better-off, cuter or smarter men, but real men of integrity are hard to find.

FRIENDS (WOO-HOOT!).  You owe me your loyalty.  The form of extreme loyalty that I'm able to give.  The kind where you just know that I'll pull through for you during the toughest times.

MY "PEOPLE."  More than servitude, I expect them to trust me.  It's important that they know I value their efforts and do not take them for granted.  They should be aware that I never make a decision that is not to our mutual benefit.

MY GRANDSON, GABRIEL.  Love forever:)

On Finding Your Passion

A Volkwagen Kombi pulled up into the empty slot next to ours at the grocery store. They're a rare sight these days but the ones left are usually well-loved. This was no exception.

I've learned that coming up to men and asking about their cars is quite acceptable. Men can spend HOURS talking about their ride and be mum on everything else. The owner was a retired pastor with the Philippine Air Force and former chaplain at the Villamor Air Base. He showed me the modifications and custom work. I couldn't help but admire the time (and moolah) he poured into this classic. When I finally took my eyes off the Kombi, I noticed he was wearing a VW cap and a VW shirt neatly tucked into his shorts.

I had to ask if he was married. Excuse me, I wasn't flirting! From experience I know that I'm a rarity and most wives resent the time men spend with their cars. Apparently, the pastor loved Volkwagen before he fell in love with his wife:) All I can say is that Pastor chose well because she too became an aficionado. He proudly says that Volkwagen memorabilia is all around their house. Actually, he had placed an order for customized VW flatware (spoons and forks!!) to complement their VW dishes and VW placemats. Wow, I wonder if its chromed!

My first car was a 1979 Beetle 1600 with twin carburetors. It made for one sweet drive. I guess this is the boring stuff unless you've owned a Beetle. It's always, always love at first sight. But the chaplain's passion far exceeded mine, despite the fact that he had a full-time religious vocation.

We should all be so passionate about something in our lives. This generation has become one of mere spectators. We've come up with the word "interactive" which defines the dynamics between man and machine. Are we a sorry bunch or what!? I must admit I'm as guilty of being apathetic as everybody else. It's time everyone got a move on and feel deeply about ANYTHING, even the lowly Bug.

On the other hand, I feel strongly about getting rid of that rogue senator with a penchant for finer accommodations. That's a start!