On Science and the 14th Dalai Lama

A concerned member at proudlyfilipina.com recommended

Destructive Emotions:  A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama by Daniel Goleman. Having recently discovered the joys of the audiobook (and because I had lost my glasses once again), I got this.

The title states exactly what it is.  Briefly, the Dalai Lama initiated a forum with renowned Western scientists and philosophers. Buddhist spiritual practices and its effects were put up for scientific study. Acutely aware that majority would shun religious or moral doctrine, he espoused the findings of research to understand and counter destructive emotion. Can a Nobel Peace Prize recipient aspire for less?

I only recently found out that His Holiness kept up with technology, or the applied sciences. Last month, cyberspies were discovered to have infiltrated the computers at his Dharamsala offices. The 14th Dali Lama even has his own website! To find that even abstract science is of special interest leaves me in awe. Richard Davidson, a pioneer in the field of affective neuroscience had remarked, "[He had what seemed] an almost preternatural feel for data and the methods of science. I've seen His Holiness penetrate into the data when everyone else but the specialists are left behind."

More of this is revealed in the book's Foreward written by the Dalai Lama:

"Buddhism and science are not conflicting perspectives on the world but rather, different approaches to the same end: seeking truth. In Buddhist training, it is essential to investigate reality and science offers its own ways to go about its investigation. While the purposes of science may differ from those of Buddhism, both ways of searching for truth expand our knowledge and understanding.

"The dialogue between science and Buddhism is a two-way conversation. We Buddhists can make use of the findings of science to clarify our understanding of the world we live in. But scientists may also be able to utilize some insights from Buddhism. There are many fields in which Buddhism can contribute to scientific understanding...

"I have often said that if Science proves facts that conflict with Buddhist understanding, Buddhism must change accordingly. We should always adopt a view that accords with the facts. If upon investigation, we find that there is reason and proof for a point, then we should accept it."

On Martin Nievera and His Ego

I've  posted about Lupang Hinirang sung at various boxing bouts.  I even have a dramatic video version of our National Anthem, meant more for reflection.  As a wannabe artist and Filipino, I recognize the respect due one's original work. One does not mess with Shakespeare, Vivaldi or the choreography of Giselle for example. So why should we consider the Lupang Hinirang fair game?  Or does Martin have the artistic freedom to change it up?  Is it true what he says that "we're afraid of change?"

I was a big fan of Martin when he first came on the Philippine music scene. I think it was on Pilita's show, and he sang with his father, Bert Nievera. Although you would have thought that they were patronizing this kid, he obviously had talent. It confused me a bit when he dissed Jackielou Blanco on national TV. I knew of her and found her to be a gracious and intelligent heiress who rather liked to work. Martin would show again later on that he generally disrespected women.

I cheered for the Pops-Martin tandem on Penthouse live. I think the end of the marriage started my dislike for him. (Fans CAN take it personally, you know). My ears began to ring with his American twang.  For those unaware, he was educated here. I cringe when he mispronounces Filipino words though I think he's recorded Filipino songs. It embarrasses me no end that Michelle van Eimeren and the Brazilian on Eat Bulaga! speak in the vernacular while Martin prattles like a Fil-Am who's never set foot in in the Philippines.

Why the rant?  I was worried about how he would sing Lupang Hinirang during the Pacquiao-Hatton bout last weekend. If you had to sing phonetically, the chances are you would commit a mistake or not give it the proper emotion.

Boy, was I mistaken! He pronounced the words right but that was all he did. He messed with the tempo and the original melody. And was that true emotion we see in his scrunched-up face? He's been doing that forever. Martin is pseudo-American rather than Filipino and I think he's rather proud of it. How did we expect someone without national pride to sing our National Anthem correctly? The song identifies our people but Martin is one of "them" people.

BOO!

On Writer's Block

On Making Spectacular Comebacks

A major funk made its home in my head towards the end of last year and didn't leave until late February. This unwelcome visitor made for the worst kind of company. We battled night and day for weeks. When it was finally over, I prevailed but just barely. The scars will linger a while as I try to remedy the havoc it caused.

Getting back to the groove of writing this time is much more difficult than I imagined. I must admit though that to shake off the final traces of gloom, this is necessary. Writing makes me happy and clears my thoughts.

I'm determined to continue. Bigger, better and bolder. Here's to the written word!

Of Ex-Husbands and Ex-Boyfriends (A Dedication)

In a previous post, I mentioned being really lucky to find love twice in my life. I did forget to mention though that both relationships lasted more than a decade each. So for my loyal detractors who think I don't have what it takes, here's to wishing you at least a SINGLE honest, long-term commitment in your miserable existence:p

To those who don't think you can be friends with your ""ex-"es, I'm living proof that it can happen. While I'm not IN LOVE with them anymore, I happen to love all my ex-boyfriends! I'd like to think that the affection is mutual because I can walk up to any of them wherever and get a big hug. No break-up is painless, but they can be amicable. There were never any scenes, only the minimum of tears and always a sweet goodbye kiss. NOTE TO DREW BARRYMORE: It's nicer than the first kiss.

From the neighborhood cutie in Kapitolyo who made me blush at 12, the Notre Dame grad who proposed marriage when I was 14 to the recent "shoulder to cry on" who made me feel great, I'm thankful to them and won't hesitate to show it.

I won't go into detail about one-night stands, but they're basically the same. Just goes to show that I mostly won't jump into bed on a whim or on an alcoholic haze. I'm big on solid friendships. If there's no physical connection, no harm done. Just go back to being friends. Why lose a buddy over bad sex? It makes no sense.

Finally, for those who think this was too much information...I'm gonna shut up now.

I spoke with ex-hubby on Christmas Eve and he was happy to hear from me. I cried my heart out when I told him I missed my father especially. He sympathized that the (2nd) love of my life didn't turn out to be what I expected.
We admitted being sorry about how things turned out. I'm glad that he's still here for me and we're still friends.
On the other hand, I'm livid with the b*tch who broke us up...NOT!

On Dummies and the Internet (Deux)

For today's good news...the [morons, imbeciles and idiots] are back...with a vengeance!

The bad news? They have now stooped even lower, spoke without thinking and invaded our cell phones!

The end is near...for one of us at least.

On The Search For True Love

As my Prince did not come to me over the past weekend, I went out in search of him. Early Monday morning I thought I dressed sensibly in mid-heel mules, black wrinkle-free skirt, plain white shirt and a colorful scarf.

Since I wanted someone from the working class, I had to go somewhere they converged.  Our local Starbucks was usually packed with Chinoy students. Off limits!

The next sensible place to look was at the LRT terminal, a block away.  People went there when they had somewhere to go.  On Mondays, it meant that they were off to work.  Unfortunately, female passengers are placed exclusively in the first two cars.  No males there but the elderly and handicapped.  No thanks!

I had no idea where I was going, it was the journey that thrilled me.  There was a dominance of the male species at the Baclaran terminal that were mostly shorter than I.  WARNING: Do not wear mules at rush hour!  You may lose your slipper before you get to dance with your Prince Charming.

I found myself hours later at a public park and contemplated my foolishness and weary feet.  I let my mules decide where to go next.  I ended up home and stayed under the covers for the next three days.

...And Then Some!

The weekend is here with no (real or imagined) prospect of true love in sight.  I asked my brother to set me up with one of his friends.  Seriously.  He ignored my message.

I should consider myself lucky.  Some people go through life without ever finding their one true love. I, on the other hand, have been lucky enough to find it...TWICE!  That they happened to turn into turd at the end didn't matter.  Maybe I do it to them.  Who knows?  In fact, who cares?

When life hands you lemons, you don't always make lemonade.  Sometimes you just have to pucker your lips and suck out the bitterness.  With a shot of tequila...

On Moving On

After a near-fatal fit of the giggles, I finally got my groove back. First on the agenda: Put up the tree.

Normally, I do this soon after my birthday. Yup! I did have [a birthday] but it took longer than usual to recover. The hangover lasted more than two weeks. What can I say? I do know how to party!

As only I know how, I lost my Christmas tree on December 2003. Don't ask... Gone were the lights, my wooden ornaments, garlands, wreaths and angels I had collected over the years.

I took a Christmas off to grieve. I planted mango seedlings in my farm instead. (They generate a better ROI). For my grandson's sake, I replaced my lost tree the following year.  That's his Patrick Star which we use as a tree topper.  Now on its fourth appearance, our tree looks battle-scarred but happy. Gabriel loves the idea of a "big" tree. My kids eagerly await what comes next: the food!

There are a lot of ornaments left over. I reached my "anal" quota in July and want things more organic. Luckily, even plastic trees are the trend. With the environmentalists breathing down our necks, it was only a matter of time till the demise of the au naturel tree.

I just noticed that most of the ornaments are hand-made.  Pretty things!  Next year when I can afford it, I should get those LED Christmas lights.

True to tradition, I'm late getting presents. What I already have is on a table somewhere.  Dogs and brights wrappers are a common foe.

The first thing I bought is this rubber chicken.  It shrieks.  For 70 pesos at a bazaar, it has made all of us here laugh.  I should've gotten more! Now we're arguing who gets to keep it.  It will probably go to my year-old niece who has everything (except a rubber chicken that shrieks).

Click here to hear a shrieking chicken!

On "Lupang Hinirang" (Re-Mastered)

During the Pacquiao-Barrera rematch, I wrote a lengthy blog post about out National Anthem. In it, I critiqued the various performances before boxing matches.  Until then, it was a hit or miss thing that did nothing to boost national pride.

Tomorrow morning, Karylle [Tatlonghari] is given the honor.  Despite a famous ex-boyfriend and a diva for a mother, she's got her head on straight.  She has better odds than Pacquiao of giving a great performance.

Speaking of odds, what's gotten into our "Pambansang Kamao?"  It's hard to believe what most say that he's just in for the purse.  Additionally, this bout is turning out to be a gambler's wet dream. So they're all in it for the money. What the ****!?  Where's Pac-Man's patriotism and "para sa bayan" mantra? Honestly, I just wish he comes out of this with his pride intact.

For those like Pacquiao who need a shot in the arm, there's a new film version of "Lupang Hinirang." It is meant to touch the hearts and minds of Filipinos everywhere.  This 2:28-minute video was created purposely "for reflection.  It is not meant to replace the official anthem normally played as a march."

Please watch it and be reminded.

Printed WITHOUT PERMISSION(!) from proudlyfilipina.com

On Being "Accounts Payable"

During a recent launch, a friend remarked that I was "accounts payable."  I laughed in her face. Oh sure, who doesn't need the moolah?  But really, I wanted to know what it meant.  NOW!

Did it mean I was owed money?  Money's easy:  You earn it. You spend it. No biggie. What's with the labels anyway? Of course people owe me money and I, in return, owe others. So goes the circle of friendship, family, forfeiture and finance.

But really, what mattered? It got me to thinking about my own list of "Accounts Receivable." For my services rendered, what could I reasonably demand in return? How high a premium could I place on my skills and emotion?  After much soul-searching, I think I have it:

MY CHILDREN.  In 2006, Al Neuharth, founder of USA Today, wrote a Mother's Day column. In it he wrote, consulting  job analysts at Salary.com, that a stay-at-home Mom's salary would be $143,121 annually.  (Multiply for numbers of years on duty and adjust numbers for inflation!)

I'd love to be able to say that I'll take the cash, thank you:)  In the real world though, you just keep your fingers crossed and hope that these kids make the same effort with THEIR kids someday.

What I do expect from them really, is for them to be independent. They should apply critical thinking in all aspects of their lives, act responsibly and be of value to society and country.

MY (FUTURE) SIGNIFICANT OTHER.  If this person does exist, I demand total honesty.  You shouldn't tell me it's okay when it isn't, goddamit!  I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. There may be better-off, cuter or smarter men, but real men of integrity are hard to find.

FRIENDS (WOO-HOOT!).  You owe me your loyalty.  The form of extreme loyalty that I'm able to give.  The kind where you just know that I'll pull through for you during the toughest times.

MY "PEOPLE."  More than servitude, I expect them to trust me.  It's important that they know I value their efforts and do not take them for granted.  They should be aware that I never make a decision that is not to our mutual benefit.

MY GRANDSON, GABRIEL.  Love forever:)

On Dummies and the Internet

I wasn't going to write about this at all. However, it's too amusing not to be shared.

I actually made an enemy online by typing LOL! And as if that wasn't enough, the dummy thought my username called him a liar. Uhmmm... username, username, username.

I know many people who don't have computers at home who are well-versed in computerese. Computer cafe mainstays actually put my skill to shame.  thefreedictionary website has 78 definitions of LOL.  FYI, dear dummy, LOL is not short for ULOL!

Anyone with a two-digit IQ should be BANNED from computers. Violators should be shot on sight. The most severe forms of torture should be reserved for those who attempt to join social networking sites, like Friendster. I'll bet they don't have friends nor photos, well maybe one if they're lucky. One thing this person definitely does not have is a sense of humor.

How can anyone totally misread my private messages? Twice!  I think I'm pretty straightforward and an easy read.  Maybe I should have written in the vernacular.

Duh?? Duh-mmy?? FRIENDster!  It was a dumb social experiment.  I'll stick to blogging.

On Finally Having Pics

I was feeling mighty fine today when I got up. So fine, in fact, that I decided to take my picture. This has never happened before. We have all sorts of gadgets (yes, including those) at home that there was no excuse for me not to have a portrait taken.  I imagine I could pretty much stick my face under the scanner cover and press a button if I was desperate.

They'all claim to be pretty good photographers but I always hid my face, ruining some very important photos. Today however, I will let "giddy" take over and push "shy" off for a moment to get the job done.

It was pretty awkward at first with the digicam. You can't set it up. It felt stupid. I had let a whole virtual film roll go. Two hours later, my bemused daughter told me to use her Mac. Perfect! I could see myself and choose from the effects of the Photo Booth application. Here are the results of my first foray into egocentricity.

On Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I've always had a healthy sense of humor.  No doubt, it kept my sanity intact while the kids were growing up and relationships ran through their course.  My only regret is that I can't laugh out loud (lol), LITERALLY.  We have a genetic predisposition to lock-jaw.  I have horror stories to prove it.  Now that's soooo not funny!

I've always envied those who bwahahahh at slapstick and heeheehee when tickled.  I just crinkle my nose when I find something funny.  If it's really hilarious, I turn up my lips a little.  (I had a repressed childhood).  To cover up potentially embarrassing situations, I've learned to give the punch line with a straight face.  I prefer sarcasm or irony to inject humor.  I don't do it to show off wit, I just can't open my mouth wide enough to laugh at corny, over-the top jokes...which I happen to love!

The events of the past few weeks however, has made me feel positively light-headed and giddy. A huge weight has been taken off my shoulders and I want to jump up and down with joy.  I'm on the verge of a laughfest but am afraid of the consequences, to my mouth in particular.

To sober up and keep my emotions reined in, I ask myself this question:  Is the laughter a result of a positive or negative experience?  Are these feelings the effect of a purging or a symptom of a deeper emotional affliction?  I suspect the worst because I've never this happy in my life, which is weird.  There have been way many more moments of profound gratitude.

Let this post's title speak for itself.

On Losing My Sight

I lost my glasses.  AGAIN! Although they were a horrendous pair bought on sale, they did their job.

I got a new prescription filled out after a check-up with my opthalmologist.  It turns out my astigmatism is worse so we had to adjust accordingly.  I went to my "suki" optician at Cartimar and picked out fashionably dorky shades (on sale, of course).  Instead of getting single vision reading glasses, I opted to get the double vision or "doble-vista."  What possessed me to order that, I don't know.

I lost my old glasses the day after I got my new pair.  So now, I'm blind again unless I read from the lower fifth of my lens.  Which means:  I have to stretch my neck up to play the piano or use the computer.  The pain!

On Finding Answers Online

I've always believed that what passes for fact online may not necessarily be the truth. As it stands right now, the lines between truth and lies are blurred anyway...so who gives a shit?

Like yogini in quest of the meaning of life or a gambler desperately seeking the winning lotto combination, I searched deep within the bowels of the web to find the elusive answer to the question: Should I finally give up on the low-life who claimed that I was his one true love?

The answer: a resounding YES!

The proof?

When Should You Dump Your Lying Man?

On My Firstborn

Last year on her birthday, I put out a short post about MY GIRL. I had never wished for one to come into my life as badly as I did her.

A lot of things have changed in a year though my feelings for her have not. I wish she would come home to me.

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE!

The sun...

The sand...

Fresh air...

Buy one, take one at the supermarket...

Sachet inserts in magazines...

And coming soon:  the Philippines' first free magazine!

It's not an insert or student publication, not a catalogue, not pieces of advertorials, no hard sell.  Just good reading brought to you by people who think it's time has come.

On Idle Land

I had planned to send my son to Singapore next year for his graduate training.  (We have to pay for this privilege).  To come up with the much needed cash, I intended to put idle land and neglected trees to work.  This is where my story begins...

If there's anything that screams "WASTE" at me, it's idle land, especially farm land.

There's no easier way to have ready cash or have food on your table than by agriculture. Although the Philippine government, past and present, has effectively put an end to farming as a means of sustainable living (think: CARP, the fertilizer scam and the current rice shortage), those who do farming at leisure or own a small piece of rural land can have a little bit of extra cash.  I'm getting my rice for free for the next year because I thought of planting my own. I intend to sell a portion of the harvest so my expenses will be returned.  As to the rest?  I plan to give it away.  Because I can.  And because people need my measly contribution.

There are mango trees untended on a lot of farms because urbanites and those who left their country for greener pastures just don't care.  I had planned to take on the care of a few idle mango trees for a small profit next year but the green monster has stepped in.  Uhmm wait... the green monster isn't envy.  It's CASH... as in United States Dollars.

Maybe I have to reconsider my concept of family and the care of idle land seriously before I continue with my plan.

On Being A Thinking Catholic

It bothers me to even think this, but how do you quit being Catholic? 

I've been proud to be one.  Knowing that you chant the prayers and celebrate the Sacrament of the Eucharist as they were done decades, even centuries ago gave me comfort.  Saying the Rosary always makes me calm.  I carry one during childbirth, difficult periods in my life and even during plane rides.  I even bought a CD recording so I could upload it to my iPod.  In the Visayas, everything stops at noon and 6pm for the Angelus.  I remember the post-war stories of my father growing up in a small town.  He and his brothers had to run home barefoot (which was faster) when the Angelus bells would sound.  It comforts me that we had even this prayers in common. 

I've been devout since junior year in high school when it was a conscious choice.  Although baptized and essentially educated Catholic, I was largely agnostic until Father Caloy Rodriguez, SVD spoke with me at boarding school in Tagaytay.  I may write about the meeting during some other post, but the experience taught me to trust my heart.  It taught me that Catholicism was not all blind obedience but a religion with intelligence.  Later in my life there were times I had trouble reconciling modern sensibility with archaic dogma but it always worked out in the end.  I even bought the book above for additional guidance.

The Religious of the Good Shepherd opened my eyes and taught me social responsibility.  I was already reading Ibon pulications before I went to Diliman.  I learned about the plight of political detainees and the urban poor.  A two-week immersion program with the rural poor further developed my empathy.  It was the ultimate merging of Faith, intellect and emotion. 

I attended Friday night's talk with an open mind, wishing to see the Church' view on the controversial Reproductive Health Bill.  I had hoped that a younger version of a Father Caloy was there again with his intellect, common sense and zeal.  I really wanted it to happen.  Instead, there was a convoluted version of the facts from a lay minister and his wife.  Instead of an academic discussion, there was hot-air rhetoric.  The current version of the Bill was not even available. 

The Catholic Church hierarchy has a structure equal, or even superior to the military.  There is chain of command.  They protect their ranks.  There's no doubt in my mind that the CBCP knows that their "soldiers" engage in mis-information dissemination.  The fact that I live in Pasay and not in an exclusive subdivision is not even worth considering.  I refuse to believe that the Church treats me as an idiot in this part of town.  I can't believe that theses speakers from Makati would speak to their neighbors in some other "manner befitting their status."  I do know that it's happening exactly this way in parishes all over the Philippines.

If that's the case, then I have more cause to champion the Reproductive Health Bill.  At least it will provide me information and options.  It acknowledges my value as a thinking Filipina without bias. 

I have listened to their side and they maltreated my mind and my Faith in one brutal blow.  It's done.  Over.

I recorded the "talk" on my phone if anybody cares to hear.  But the recording is so bad because I did not count on the acoustics of the structure.  If I'm not mistaken, there are three echoes marring the sound.  If anybody knows how I can clean it up, please let me know.